Evening Strumpets,
Thanks to everyone who entered the halloween comp. Here`s the best of the crop.
Alan in Derby sent this in
Ok, so I first heard this when I was about 12, and it's stuck with me for the many long years since. It happened to a friend of my brother, and involved a whole bunch of his other friends too, who all swear this is the truth. It's not terrifying, but something about it creeps me out...
(The actual names have been lost in my mind due to time & dementia, sorry!)
Trev was bored. Saturday night TV was rubbish for teenagers (Paul Daniels again??) and he'd much rather be out having a laugh with his mates. Problem was he couldn't get in touch with anyone, they were all "out somewhere". Without him, the rotten sods.
He was starting to doze off, when he heard some shouting outside. Not an argument, but raised voices. He ignored it, assuming it was just some bunch of lads walking past outside, but they didn't move on. The telly was loud enough to drown out what they were actually saying, so being bored (and a bit nosey), went to the window and looked out.
There he saw all of his mates - Dave and Paul sitting on the wall sharing a fag, Mark and a few girls milling about on the pavement beyond them, and Smiffy, John & Dawn right outside his front door, looking upward and shouting - "We're going to the offie for some booze then piling round Micks, you coming?"
Trev was puzzled.
"What are you being like that for?" Dawn asked, seemingly to the sky. "Stop being ignorant - are you coming or what??"
Intrigued, Trev tapped on the window and everyone looked at him, and laughed. "Oh, there you are! We thought that was you," Smiffy said, pointing to the upstairs window, "it must be your brother."
Trev frowned. "No," he said, "I'm the only one in here, everybody's out."
The three faces in front of him froze. They looked up again, then back to him, panic rising in their eyes... "Get out mate, there's somebody upstairs, there's somebody in your house!!"
Trev tipped out of the living room, down the hallway and out the front door faster than he had ever moved in his life. By that point the whole gang was at his door, every one of them saying that *somebody* had been standing in the upstairs window, in his parent's darkened bedroom, staring at them. When they shouted the warning, they had all seen the figure calmly turn and walk away.
A thorough search of the house by Trev and his 7 friends turned up nothing. All windows were secure, and the door to his parent's room was closed, as it had been all night...
Everyone was a bit rattled by the event, Trev more than most of course - but Dawn says she hardly slept for weeks. Every time she closed her eyes she could see that dark silhouette, just gazing silently down at her...
James in Middlesbrough sent this in,
I used to work with a girl called Lisa who was from down south but moved up here to be with her husband. She went back down south to her parents house where she grew up and they took their 3 year old daughter for the first time.
During dinner her daughter was talking to someone invisible, they asked her who she was taking to, she said Julie. They asked what Julie looked like and she described a Victorian lady. They all took a gasp.
It was the exact same imaginary friend Lisa had when she was three
And my favourite, this one sent in by Andy in Thirsk.
This is a true story....
Many moons ago when we where younger Sue and I stayed at a friends farm on the Lizard in Cornwall for New Year.
After a strange new year party at a pub in the middle of nowhere we arrived back at the farm and collapsed into our sleeping bags. I was woken by my wife who said 'I can her something upstairs!'. It'll be someone going to the loo i muttered and tried to go back to sleep, but then I heard it.
The noise was the sound of a large dog scrabbling across bare floorboards followed by the sound of an old latch being lifted and dropped. This sound repeated itself overhead at intervals several times. Thinking it was someone buggering about I got up and went upstairs to ask them to keep it down.
At the top of the stairs all was quiet as the grave... but downstairs again the sounds continued until we both passed out.
Next morning we mentioned the nights goings on at breakfast, only to be told 'don't mention this to my daughter'.
Apparently, she slept in that room and had repeatedly seen a man in her room in the mirror and now always kept her dresser mirror covered......
Needless to say this scared the crap out of us and we quickly packed uop and left.
Thanks to everyone who joined in, wait what`s that, over there in the shadows? It can`t be, can it?
Till the next one, learn something new.
Mark.
Sunday 31 October 2010
Wednesday 27 October 2010
Halloween Comp!
Evening Strumpets,
I`m going to send out a challenge to you all.
Come up with a scarier halloween story than the one I`m about to post, and get a reward. A song of your choice, posted on the blog! There`s no losers, each scary story (within reason) will be posted anyway.
Rules: You must follow the blog. Scroll down until you see the follow
icon on the right of the screen and click on it.
It must be really scary. Scary and suitable (family friendly)
enough for me to post it on the
blog.
Send it to my email adress. markdavies23@hotmail.co.uk.
Here`s mine, told to me fifteen years ago by a good friend. I swear this is true, so come closer and I`ll whisper it, because if I say it too loud, and the wrong person hears it, they may go mad. if you are of a nervous disposition, stop reading now. Seriously, STOP....READING.....NOW......
My friend`s cousin lived in a farmhouse in Arnold, just outside Nottingham. She would often sleep with her pet dog "Rowlf" at the foot of her bed. One weekend her parents were away, and she went out for a drink with her friends.
She returned to the empty Farmhouse, and after a period of watching TV she went to bed. Sure enough, Rowlf leapt on the bed and cosied down for the evening. She fell in to a restless sleep, disturbed by nightmares, and awoke after two hours to find Rowlf licking her feet. She kicked gently at his wet nose and dozed again.
Again it was a fitful sleep, and she was awakened again by Rowlf licking her feet. A similar kick to his nose put paid to that.
Two hours later, and something made her jolt awake. But all she heard was the dripping tap (drip drip drip)from her En Suite Bathroom.
She fell asleep again and woke at 07:30, cold from an open window, she could have sworn was closed when she went to bed, but fit as a fiddle and walked into her En Suite. Except....
Nailed to the wall was Rowlf, blood dripping from the gaping wound from his neck (drip drip drip)
Written in the Dogs blood was "human`s can lick too"!
She never recovered, and is still living in the local mental health Residential Unit in Arnold.
Is this true, I`ll let you know, but until then,
post something new.
Mark
I`m going to send out a challenge to you all.
Come up with a scarier halloween story than the one I`m about to post, and get a reward. A song of your choice, posted on the blog! There`s no losers, each scary story (within reason) will be posted anyway.
Rules: You must follow the blog. Scroll down until you see the follow
icon on the right of the screen and click on it.
It must be really scary. Scary and suitable (family friendly)
enough for me to post it on the
blog.
Send it to my email adress. markdavies23@hotmail.co.uk.
Here`s mine, told to me fifteen years ago by a good friend. I swear this is true, so come closer and I`ll whisper it, because if I say it too loud, and the wrong person hears it, they may go mad. if you are of a nervous disposition, stop reading now. Seriously, STOP....READING.....NOW......
My friend`s cousin lived in a farmhouse in Arnold, just outside Nottingham. She would often sleep with her pet dog "Rowlf" at the foot of her bed. One weekend her parents were away, and she went out for a drink with her friends.
She returned to the empty Farmhouse, and after a period of watching TV she went to bed. Sure enough, Rowlf leapt on the bed and cosied down for the evening. She fell in to a restless sleep, disturbed by nightmares, and awoke after two hours to find Rowlf licking her feet. She kicked gently at his wet nose and dozed again.
Again it was a fitful sleep, and she was awakened again by Rowlf licking her feet. A similar kick to his nose put paid to that.
Two hours later, and something made her jolt awake. But all she heard was the dripping tap (drip drip drip)from her En Suite Bathroom.
She fell asleep again and woke at 07:30, cold from an open window, she could have sworn was closed when she went to bed, but fit as a fiddle and walked into her En Suite. Except....
Nailed to the wall was Rowlf, blood dripping from the gaping wound from his neck (drip drip drip)
Written in the Dogs blood was "human`s can lick too"!
She never recovered, and is still living in the local mental health Residential Unit in Arnold.
Is this true, I`ll let you know, but until then,
post something new.
Mark
Saturday 23 October 2010
Happy Days, in so many ways.
Afternoon Strumpets,
This morning we were going to pop round me Dad`s, but he rang and said he wasn`t feeling too well so could we rearrange. The weather was awful (unusual for Boro, I hear you say), so we came up with this.
Following on from that, I occasionally post quizzes on Facebook, if Louise is out drinking that mucky beer. The prize is a request for a song to be placed on this Blog. Last night There was a close match, with Karen and James Lindley, and Matthew Sibley narrowly losing out to Alan sawdon and Sarah Burnett. In memory of Tom Bosley, who passed away last week, they requested this. Hungover and in bad need of a shave and haircut, I couldn`t be any more like Arthur Fonzarelli. Harry on the other hand.....
Till the next one learn something new,
Mark.
This morning we were going to pop round me Dad`s, but he rang and said he wasn`t feeling too well so could we rearrange. The weather was awful (unusual for Boro, I hear you say), so we came up with this.
Following on from that, I occasionally post quizzes on Facebook, if Louise is out drinking that mucky beer. The prize is a request for a song to be placed on this Blog. Last night There was a close match, with Karen and James Lindley, and Matthew Sibley narrowly losing out to Alan sawdon and Sarah Burnett. In memory of Tom Bosley, who passed away last week, they requested this. Hungover and in bad need of a shave and haircut, I couldn`t be any more like Arthur Fonzarelli. Harry on the other hand.....
Till the next one learn something new,
Mark.
Thursday 21 October 2010
FB Interviews 2. Fallen Phoenix.
Evening Strumpets,
Following on from the Leddie and Smoggy FB interview, as promised a million years ago, here`s a Facebook interview with another of Middlesbrough`s finest bands. Andy Granville is lead singer and guitarist with Fallen Phoenix. I`ve had the priviledge to support these lads on a number of occasions, and on one special night, join with them onstage for a powerful Tolkienesque rendition of "Let it Be". Trust me, if there`s any justice in the world, you will be hearing a lot more of this band in the future. If you`re like me, you`ll press play on this YT clip, and read the interview.
GNS: So away we go, I`ve witnessed your band playing in several formats,
even occasionally joining in, but who or what is Fallen Phoenix?
FP: We`re a rock and roll band, we often get put on with indie bands and then other times we`re put on with really heavy bands, all of which is fine with us, but whenever we`re asked what we do we just say rock n roll, all depends what you want out of it in the end, we`re just 4 close friends who like to make a racket together.
GNS: What`s inspired the "racket" incidentally, I absolutely agree, you sound pure rock n roll to me.
FP: Just a love of music really, when we first started it was to make the music that we wanted to hear as we didn`t think anyone was making it, i personally felt a bit detatched from the music scene in England, still do as a matter of fact, all my influences come from 60's to the 90's so hopefully were a slice of that.
GNS: Couldn`t agree more about the English music scene, An occasional match flame in a universe of dross doesn`t mean diddly. Tell me about your first gig.
FP: Our first gig was at Libertys In Town a few years back, it was on a Wednesday night as i remember because we were all going to Leeds festival the next day. We were a 5 piece back then as we had a synth player, i just remember spending a lot of time making sure our synth player was okay as it was his first ever gig. We went on before a band called The Outlaw, we went down well as i remember. We still play about half of the set we played that night so i guess we had a pretty strong start.
GNS: You never foret it do you? synth would make an interesting dimension to your sound. Any venues you go down better in than others?
FP: We always tend to go down well in our spiritual home the Princess Alice. I like to think where ever we play in Middlesbrough we tend to go down well. We had quite a memorable gig in Coventry a few years back that we still talk about, went down a storm that night. We once had a gig in Newcastle with some glam rock band who's name escapes me but they spent the entire night slagging off the crowd, by the time we went on they were ready to linch someone, we couldnt wait to get off stage that night.
Spiral Feedback! that was their name! bunch of tools!
GNS: Probably helped that you were from Boro! Spiral feedback? My heads hurting just thinking about that. So what`s next?
FP: To be honest people from Newcastle are pretty cool about Middlesbrough bands in my experience. I`d hate to be a Mackem (someone from Sunderland "mack`em and tack`em) in Newcastle, i`m sure that'd be a different story.
We`re getting our name around as much as possible, we recorded a single earlier in the year which is free from our website, so the plan next to record the rest of our songs and take it from there. Organising it is the challenge really, cos a lot of bands stop playing live whilst they record which we really dont want to do, we want the lot.
GNS: I`ve found Middlesbrough to be quite liked in the various places, usually as an affectionate pisstake, but not hated. So what`s the Website?
FP: www.fallenphoenix.co.uk yeah you get the obligatory smoggie comment, but its all in jest, people are cool about Middlesbrough.
GNS: Nice one. Final question, in two parts, firstly, Boro this season, what prediction? Secondly sum up in five words fallen Phoenix.
FP: I think the rest of this season is damage control. I`d like to be an optomist and say if we get the right man in we'll nick our way into the play off's but i cant see that happening, for as much as Strachan tried i think his vision was way off what type of team we are, different mentality and strengths, so if we fix his mistakes for the rest of this season we'd be in a better position for next season (sadly thats what i said last season about Southgate) but i live in hope.
GNS: Unfortunately DITTO.
FP: Loud, hairy, catchy, real and anthemic, there would be another hairy in there if our bass player wasn`t fighting a losing battle with his. ;)
GNS: Brilliant! He`s a big lad though. Where can the strumpets find out more about you chaps besidesthe website?
FP: We`re on the usual places, facebook, twitter and myspace, all of which can be gotten to through the website, or in the Alice on a friday night is usually a good place to find us too.
GNS: Cheers Andy any gig`s coming up?
FP: 28 Oct 2010 Seven - Sunderland
04 Nov 2010 Billingham Symphonia Club - Billingham
17 Nov 2010 Plugged In - Sunderland
03 Dec 2010 The Princess Alice - Middlesbrough
15 Dec 2010 Bad Medicine Rock Club - Middlesbrough
thats the rest of our year at the minute, but there will be more in there soon enough.
and there you have it. Fallen Phoenix. Personally, I think they`re what picking up an instrument and getting yourself out there is what it`s all about.
Till the next one, learn something new.
Mark.
Following on from the Leddie and Smoggy FB interview, as promised a million years ago, here`s a Facebook interview with another of Middlesbrough`s finest bands. Andy Granville is lead singer and guitarist with Fallen Phoenix. I`ve had the priviledge to support these lads on a number of occasions, and on one special night, join with them onstage for a powerful Tolkienesque rendition of "Let it Be". Trust me, if there`s any justice in the world, you will be hearing a lot more of this band in the future. If you`re like me, you`ll press play on this YT clip, and read the interview.
GNS: So away we go, I`ve witnessed your band playing in several formats,
even occasionally joining in, but who or what is Fallen Phoenix?
FP: We`re a rock and roll band, we often get put on with indie bands and then other times we`re put on with really heavy bands, all of which is fine with us, but whenever we`re asked what we do we just say rock n roll, all depends what you want out of it in the end, we`re just 4 close friends who like to make a racket together.
GNS: What`s inspired the "racket" incidentally, I absolutely agree, you sound pure rock n roll to me.
FP: Just a love of music really, when we first started it was to make the music that we wanted to hear as we didn`t think anyone was making it, i personally felt a bit detatched from the music scene in England, still do as a matter of fact, all my influences come from 60's to the 90's so hopefully were a slice of that.
GNS: Couldn`t agree more about the English music scene, An occasional match flame in a universe of dross doesn`t mean diddly. Tell me about your first gig.
FP: Our first gig was at Libertys In Town a few years back, it was on a Wednesday night as i remember because we were all going to Leeds festival the next day. We were a 5 piece back then as we had a synth player, i just remember spending a lot of time making sure our synth player was okay as it was his first ever gig. We went on before a band called The Outlaw, we went down well as i remember. We still play about half of the set we played that night so i guess we had a pretty strong start.
GNS: You never foret it do you? synth would make an interesting dimension to your sound. Any venues you go down better in than others?
FP: We always tend to go down well in our spiritual home the Princess Alice. I like to think where ever we play in Middlesbrough we tend to go down well. We had quite a memorable gig in Coventry a few years back that we still talk about, went down a storm that night. We once had a gig in Newcastle with some glam rock band who's name escapes me but they spent the entire night slagging off the crowd, by the time we went on they were ready to linch someone, we couldnt wait to get off stage that night.
Spiral Feedback! that was their name! bunch of tools!
GNS: Probably helped that you were from Boro! Spiral feedback? My heads hurting just thinking about that. So what`s next?
FP: To be honest people from Newcastle are pretty cool about Middlesbrough bands in my experience. I`d hate to be a Mackem (someone from Sunderland "mack`em and tack`em) in Newcastle, i`m sure that'd be a different story.
We`re getting our name around as much as possible, we recorded a single earlier in the year which is free from our website, so the plan next to record the rest of our songs and take it from there. Organising it is the challenge really, cos a lot of bands stop playing live whilst they record which we really dont want to do, we want the lot.
GNS: I`ve found Middlesbrough to be quite liked in the various places, usually as an affectionate pisstake, but not hated. So what`s the Website?
FP: www.fallenphoenix.co.uk yeah you get the obligatory smoggie comment, but its all in jest, people are cool about Middlesbrough.
GNS: Nice one. Final question, in two parts, firstly, Boro this season, what prediction? Secondly sum up in five words fallen Phoenix.
FP: I think the rest of this season is damage control. I`d like to be an optomist and say if we get the right man in we'll nick our way into the play off's but i cant see that happening, for as much as Strachan tried i think his vision was way off what type of team we are, different mentality and strengths, so if we fix his mistakes for the rest of this season we'd be in a better position for next season (sadly thats what i said last season about Southgate) but i live in hope.
GNS: Unfortunately DITTO.
FP: Loud, hairy, catchy, real and anthemic, there would be another hairy in there if our bass player wasn`t fighting a losing battle with his. ;)
GNS: Brilliant! He`s a big lad though. Where can the strumpets find out more about you chaps besidesthe website?
FP: We`re on the usual places, facebook, twitter and myspace, all of which can be gotten to through the website, or in the Alice on a friday night is usually a good place to find us too.
GNS: Cheers Andy any gig`s coming up?
FP: 28 Oct 2010 Seven - Sunderland
04 Nov 2010 Billingham Symphonia Club - Billingham
17 Nov 2010 Plugged In - Sunderland
03 Dec 2010 The Princess Alice - Middlesbrough
15 Dec 2010 Bad Medicine Rock Club - Middlesbrough
thats the rest of our year at the minute, but there will be more in there soon enough.
and there you have it. Fallen Phoenix. Personally, I think they`re what picking up an instrument and getting yourself out there is what it`s all about.
Till the next one, learn something new.
Mark.
Tuesday 19 October 2010
The Riverside.
Afternoon Strumpets,
Yesterday Mr Gordon Strachan left as manager of my Hometown football team. By coincidence I`d found a nice chord progression which I felt lent itself to a slice of American Gothic verse regarding a serial killer. Listening back to it, I realised it could also be about Mr Strachan`s reign.
Have a listen and let me know what you think.
Till the next one learn something new,
Mark.
Yesterday Mr Gordon Strachan left as manager of my Hometown football team. By coincidence I`d found a nice chord progression which I felt lent itself to a slice of American Gothic verse regarding a serial killer. Listening back to it, I realised it could also be about Mr Strachan`s reign.
Have a listen and let me know what you think.
Till the next one learn something new,
Mark.
Sunday 17 October 2010
The FB name game.
Afternoon Strumpets,
I watched a fantastic film on Friday night called "Charlie Wilson`s War". A truly brilliant and topically brave movie. However whilst watching it, I couldn`t help but think it would have been better if it had been "Charlie William`s War". I am aware that there are many of your good selves scratching your heads, but growing up in the Seventies in Northern England, Charlie and many others were a staple diet of our television viewing lives. Here`s a taster.
So how many other stand ups could be in film titles?
I came up with:
Jim Bowenfinger, Plunkett and Don Mclean, Weekend at Bernie Cliftons, Dave Alien, Sweeney Bob Todd, Max Boyce`N the Hood, Mike Die Harding: with a Vengeance, Regarding Lenny Henry, Lionel Blair Witch Project, Phil Cool Runnings, Avatarby, Benny Hamburger Hill, 3 Days of the Tom `O Connor, and finally, Far from the Manning Crowd.
I posted these on Facebook, and the response was overwhelming. It soon began incorporating any well known name as well as TV shows. So (deep breath):
Damion posted: Richard Pryor & Predjudice, Gene Wilder - Party Animal, Les Dawson's Creek, The Benny Hill's have Eyes, Tony Hancock.
Jamie posted: conan the barbarian duncan smith, The Gary Thin Red Lineker, father ted rogers, the bruce forsyth saga, King Arthur Askey, oh chuckle brothers where art thou, shay unforgiven,
Matthew posted: Flash Gordon Strachan, Indiana Howard Jones and the Temple of Doom, Jaws Holland, Pretty in Thomas Pink, Sliding George Doors, Eddie Murphys Law, The History Boys George, Rob Brydon Prejudice, James Corden and the Giant Peach, What's Eating Rhod Gilbert Grape, EdByrneucating Rita, Do The Steve Right Thing, Russell Howards Way, Bill Hick`s and Ted Rodger`s Excellent Adventure,
Alison posted: Meet me in St. Louis Walsh, Smokey Robinson and the Bandit, What happened in Johnny Vegas, Jackie 'Chubby' Brown, Riding in Alan Carrs with Boys, There's something about Mary Shelley, The Kevin Bridges of Madison County, Jail Monkhouse Rock, The great Coltrane robbery.
Steve posted: Rita, Sue, and Bob Monkhouse too.
Robin posted: mick millers crossing
Chris posted: American Werewolf in Paris Hilton, The Beverly HillBilly Crystals, Ed Victoria Wood, Ed Victoria Wood, Lee Evans Almighty, The Harry Hills Have Eyes, The Benny Hills Have Eyes 2, Simon Peggy Sue Got Married, The Bobby BasketBall Diaries, Leaving Las Johnny Vegas, Richard Pryor III.
Laura posted: Lorraine kelly's heroes, Eamon Holmes and the Hound of the Baskervilles, The Full Monty Don, Harry hill and the philosophers stone (and all the other films too!), A nightmare on Elmo Grouch street, Freddie Starr's New Nightmare, Citizen Cain Dingle.
Mark posted: Pale shaun rider, Legally blondie (courtesy of the missus), Kill Bill Hicks, Boy George in the striped pyjamas, Close encounters of the thora hird kind, The martin shaw-shank redemption.
and finally Peter Squibs (aka Neil) posted: john wayne s world, Star Wars - A new bob hope. Men in Cilla Black. The Jean Claude Van Dambusters. By the light of the silvery keith moon. Full kenny jacket. Jim Platt oon. W C Field of dreams, the people Vs larry grayson flint, The Tommy Cannon and Bobby Ball Run, Stuart Little and Large, Dangerous (brothers) Liasons, and Antz and Dec.
It`s been a really difficult decision, but I hereby decree the winner to be Neil with "Ron Howards End". Wrong in so many ways, but just spot on in so many others. There`s a film I would pay to see. In fact i`ll be amazed if it hasn`t already been done.
I hope you`ve laughed as much as I did this morning reading them all, and again when typing this.
Till the next one learn something new.
Mark.
I watched a fantastic film on Friday night called "Charlie Wilson`s War". A truly brilliant and topically brave movie. However whilst watching it, I couldn`t help but think it would have been better if it had been "Charlie William`s War". I am aware that there are many of your good selves scratching your heads, but growing up in the Seventies in Northern England, Charlie and many others were a staple diet of our television viewing lives. Here`s a taster.
So how many other stand ups could be in film titles?
I came up with:
Jim Bowenfinger, Plunkett and Don Mclean, Weekend at Bernie Cliftons, Dave Alien, Sweeney Bob Todd, Max Boyce`N the Hood, Mike Die Harding: with a Vengeance, Regarding Lenny Henry, Lionel Blair Witch Project, Phil Cool Runnings, Avatarby, Benny Hamburger Hill, 3 Days of the Tom `O Connor, and finally, Far from the Manning Crowd.
I posted these on Facebook, and the response was overwhelming. It soon began incorporating any well known name as well as TV shows. So (deep breath):
Damion posted: Richard Pryor & Predjudice, Gene Wilder - Party Animal, Les Dawson's Creek, The Benny Hill's have Eyes, Tony Hancock.
Jamie posted: conan the barbarian duncan smith, The Gary Thin Red Lineker, father ted rogers, the bruce forsyth saga, King Arthur Askey, oh chuckle brothers where art thou, shay unforgiven,
Matthew posted: Flash Gordon Strachan, Indiana Howard Jones and the Temple of Doom, Jaws Holland, Pretty in Thomas Pink, Sliding George Doors, Eddie Murphys Law, The History Boys George, Rob Brydon Prejudice, James Corden and the Giant Peach, What's Eating Rhod Gilbert Grape, EdByrneucating Rita, Do The Steve Right Thing, Russell Howards Way, Bill Hick`s and Ted Rodger`s Excellent Adventure,
Alison posted: Meet me in St. Louis Walsh, Smokey Robinson and the Bandit, What happened in Johnny Vegas, Jackie 'Chubby' Brown, Riding in Alan Carrs with Boys, There's something about Mary Shelley, The Kevin Bridges of Madison County, Jail Monkhouse Rock, The great Coltrane robbery.
Steve posted: Rita, Sue, and Bob Monkhouse too.
Robin posted: mick millers crossing
Chris posted: American Werewolf in Paris Hilton, The Beverly HillBilly Crystals, Ed Victoria Wood, Ed Victoria Wood, Lee Evans Almighty, The Harry Hills Have Eyes, The Benny Hills Have Eyes 2, Simon Peggy Sue Got Married, The Bobby BasketBall Diaries, Leaving Las Johnny Vegas, Richard Pryor III.
Laura posted: Lorraine kelly's heroes, Eamon Holmes and the Hound of the Baskervilles, The Full Monty Don, Harry hill and the philosophers stone (and all the other films too!), A nightmare on Elmo Grouch street, Freddie Starr's New Nightmare, Citizen Cain Dingle.
Mark posted: Pale shaun rider, Legally blondie (courtesy of the missus), Kill Bill Hicks, Boy George in the striped pyjamas, Close encounters of the thora hird kind, The martin shaw-shank redemption.
and finally Peter Squibs (aka Neil) posted: john wayne s world, Star Wars - A new bob hope. Men in Cilla Black. The Jean Claude Van Dambusters. By the light of the silvery keith moon. Full kenny jacket. Jim Platt oon. W C Field of dreams, the people Vs larry grayson flint, The Tommy Cannon and Bobby Ball Run, Stuart Little and Large, Dangerous (brothers) Liasons, and Antz and Dec.
It`s been a really difficult decision, but I hereby decree the winner to be Neil with "Ron Howards End". Wrong in so many ways, but just spot on in so many others. There`s a film I would pay to see. In fact i`ll be amazed if it hasn`t already been done.
I hope you`ve laughed as much as I did this morning reading them all, and again when typing this.
Till the next one learn something new.
Mark.
Monday 4 October 2010
The composing poser?
Evening strumpets,
Chris in Boro has sent me a message asking how I write my songs. That`s a tricky one. Yoko Ono tells a story of an animal with a hundred legs which had the most beautiful walk in the world. One day a young man asked it how it walked in such an exquisite manner, and the creature replied "it`s easy, first I move this leg, then I move this one, then I...erm...." and could never again walk quite as beautifully as it had before.
Now then, let`s get one thing straight, i may use writers stories or quotes in this post. I am not, repeat, NOT placing myself in any of their standards. I`m just trying to get across how it happens.
If other people have written the chords, as in Cowboy Waltz and Longlands, I`ll listen to the basic recordings of the song in the car, and see which phrases/melodies leap out at me. In the instance of Cowboy Waltz, all I could hear in my head for the opening line was "I`ve had children to various women, none of them know my name, it`s true" That pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the song. This guy is a shit, simple as that, I had to imagine a selfish awful fella, who thinks he`s great. Fun? Like you`ve never thought of!
Longlands, I got the melody pretty much straight off as it`s there already in Carls brilliant tune. I was laughing at how catchy it was, when the words "take me along to Longlands" came into me head. That made me think that Places in Boro, could just as easily fit into an old west setting, and off I went. The next thing, we`re playing it here.
With my own stuff, I generally just sit down and wait, as Stephen King describes it, for my muse to shat on my head. More often than not, though not always, the chords will come first. I remember reading an interview with Paul Draper about how Mansun had reintroduced melodies back into songs, and that really hit home. I think this is where Morrissey has really struggled over the last couple of years, as no matter how fantastic the lyrics are, to me it`s always the hook which gets you to love a song. I do try to get a personal "Old Grey Whistle Test" thing going in most of the songs I write. As in, I never record anything immediately, so if I can remember it the next day, it might be alright.
My songwriting partners over the past almost thirty years have been Carl Dalton and Mark Dent. They`re usually my measure for if somethings any good, though recently Andy from Northern Banjo Boy, and The Alice Charmers has been a pretty good judge of what`s good and what`s not. I`ve written thousands of classics over the years, propelling me, i`m certain, to a life of living off royalties, watching telly and ordering takeaway pizza
a la About a Boy, only to realise it`s already been written. Usually by whoever I happen to be listening to at that particular time.
I love clever titles for songs. One of my favourites of my own is this one.
Not my favourite version of it (Originally a nephrons song), but it gets the point across, i think.
So there you have it, hope that makes sense Chris.
Till the next one, learn something new,
Mark.
Chris in Boro has sent me a message asking how I write my songs. That`s a tricky one. Yoko Ono tells a story of an animal with a hundred legs which had the most beautiful walk in the world. One day a young man asked it how it walked in such an exquisite manner, and the creature replied "it`s easy, first I move this leg, then I move this one, then I...erm...." and could never again walk quite as beautifully as it had before.
Now then, let`s get one thing straight, i may use writers stories or quotes in this post. I am not, repeat, NOT placing myself in any of their standards. I`m just trying to get across how it happens.
If other people have written the chords, as in Cowboy Waltz and Longlands, I`ll listen to the basic recordings of the song in the car, and see which phrases/melodies leap out at me. In the instance of Cowboy Waltz, all I could hear in my head for the opening line was "I`ve had children to various women, none of them know my name, it`s true" That pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the song. This guy is a shit, simple as that, I had to imagine a selfish awful fella, who thinks he`s great. Fun? Like you`ve never thought of!
Longlands, I got the melody pretty much straight off as it`s there already in Carls brilliant tune. I was laughing at how catchy it was, when the words "take me along to Longlands" came into me head. That made me think that Places in Boro, could just as easily fit into an old west setting, and off I went. The next thing, we`re playing it here.
With my own stuff, I generally just sit down and wait, as Stephen King describes it, for my muse to shat on my head. More often than not, though not always, the chords will come first. I remember reading an interview with Paul Draper about how Mansun had reintroduced melodies back into songs, and that really hit home. I think this is where Morrissey has really struggled over the last couple of years, as no matter how fantastic the lyrics are, to me it`s always the hook which gets you to love a song. I do try to get a personal "Old Grey Whistle Test" thing going in most of the songs I write. As in, I never record anything immediately, so if I can remember it the next day, it might be alright.
My songwriting partners over the past almost thirty years have been Carl Dalton and Mark Dent. They`re usually my measure for if somethings any good, though recently Andy from Northern Banjo Boy, and The Alice Charmers has been a pretty good judge of what`s good and what`s not. I`ve written thousands of classics over the years, propelling me, i`m certain, to a life of living off royalties, watching telly and ordering takeaway pizza
a la About a Boy, only to realise it`s already been written. Usually by whoever I happen to be listening to at that particular time.
I love clever titles for songs. One of my favourites of my own is this one.
Not my favourite version of it (Originally a nephrons song), but it gets the point across, i think.
So there you have it, hope that makes sense Chris.
Till the next one, learn something new,
Mark.
Friday 1 October 2010
Open mic All Hours
Evening Strumpets,
I`ve been thinking a lot lately about The joy that is Open Mic nights. More often than not, these are really nice nights where a pub which is finding the old recession, along with daft prices in the supermarkets a barrier in getting the "punters" in. As a result, you can find yourself in a pub, which ten years ago would have been full to the rafters, playing banjo to four blokes and a dog. And that is not necessarily a bad thing, because the actual act of getting up and hearing yourself amplified can at times be a particularly effective laxative.
I`ve had the misfortune on a couple of occasions to witness really talented musicians dry up, and virtually run out of the pub, never ever again daring to get up and display their talent. This is such a shame, because you realise really early on, that everyone pretty much in the pub is on your side. They`re willing you to do well, but the pressure we put on ourselves doesn`t allow, at first, us to see that.
I first played an open mic in The George and Dragon in Yarm on St Georges Day 2009. More than that I was playing me banjo, which I`d been playing since Dec 26th 2008. Do the maths, that is not a long time. But I`d been promised by a friend who`d heard me play that I`d go down a storm.
I practised Cripple Creek a million times. I took the banjo to work with me, and practised in me dinner break. But when the mouth is dry, the phrase "Cripple Creek" is about as simple to say as Deoxyribonucleic acid. Too many "K" sounds. That was me song. That was the one I could play, but would I dare sing?
I got there on the night and it was heaving. I was told I`d be second on. I waited with me half a diet coke, and waited, and waited. Eventually the first lad got up, and as he did the place suddenly filled with about thirty people with T-shirt with his name on, all screaming for his "songs" He was good at first, but to be honest he went on a bit and he was losing the rest of the punters aside from his fanbase. Right there I made a valuable decision. If I was ever going to have a crack at this open mic stuff, it would have to be with a mix of a song for them, a song for me.
I got up and played, and it was an absolute blast. I decided to sing, and truth be told it wasn`t too bad. Such a buzz people coming up to me afterwards and telling me how much they enjoyed it.
I`ve since played quite a few open mics, mostly at The Crown and Princess Alice. On Wednesday in the Alice for the first time I played nothing but four songs of me own, (Great North Strum, Whole, Time Less Classic, and Sick on My Shoulder) and they went down really well. Ian Swinbourne, a guy who has such a talent, was there. He has been asking me for a while to go to Loftus on a Thursday for their open mic, but it`s a heck of a distance, and I`ve always passed, purely as it would mean getting home really late.
Ian promised that if I got there he could guarantee an early slot. So I went. The first person i saw when i got there was Vin Garbutt! A real legend. Blimey, this was not going to be any ordinary open mic spot.
I got up and played "GNS" and "Sick" and had some cracking banter with the (busy and very talented) crowd. And that was that, until Mr Garbutt came over and told he`d really enjoyed me songs. How cool is that. I was smiling all the way home.
All I`m saying is, I could have gotten to this age without ever having had the joy and pleasure that is playing S Club 7 or the Stranglers on the banjo to a bunch of bemused seasoned drinkers. I strongly urge anyone with any talent to get up on an open mic night, it could lead to you driving home with the biggest smile on your face.
Till the next one, learn something new.
Mark.
I`ve been thinking a lot lately about The joy that is Open Mic nights. More often than not, these are really nice nights where a pub which is finding the old recession, along with daft prices in the supermarkets a barrier in getting the "punters" in. As a result, you can find yourself in a pub, which ten years ago would have been full to the rafters, playing banjo to four blokes and a dog. And that is not necessarily a bad thing, because the actual act of getting up and hearing yourself amplified can at times be a particularly effective laxative.
I`ve had the misfortune on a couple of occasions to witness really talented musicians dry up, and virtually run out of the pub, never ever again daring to get up and display their talent. This is such a shame, because you realise really early on, that everyone pretty much in the pub is on your side. They`re willing you to do well, but the pressure we put on ourselves doesn`t allow, at first, us to see that.
I first played an open mic in The George and Dragon in Yarm on St Georges Day 2009. More than that I was playing me banjo, which I`d been playing since Dec 26th 2008. Do the maths, that is not a long time. But I`d been promised by a friend who`d heard me play that I`d go down a storm.
I practised Cripple Creek a million times. I took the banjo to work with me, and practised in me dinner break. But when the mouth is dry, the phrase "Cripple Creek" is about as simple to say as Deoxyribonucleic acid. Too many "K" sounds. That was me song. That was the one I could play, but would I dare sing?
I got there on the night and it was heaving. I was told I`d be second on. I waited with me half a diet coke, and waited, and waited. Eventually the first lad got up, and as he did the place suddenly filled with about thirty people with T-shirt with his name on, all screaming for his "songs" He was good at first, but to be honest he went on a bit and he was losing the rest of the punters aside from his fanbase. Right there I made a valuable decision. If I was ever going to have a crack at this open mic stuff, it would have to be with a mix of a song for them, a song for me.
I got up and played, and it was an absolute blast. I decided to sing, and truth be told it wasn`t too bad. Such a buzz people coming up to me afterwards and telling me how much they enjoyed it.
I`ve since played quite a few open mics, mostly at The Crown and Princess Alice. On Wednesday in the Alice for the first time I played nothing but four songs of me own, (Great North Strum, Whole, Time Less Classic, and Sick on My Shoulder) and they went down really well. Ian Swinbourne, a guy who has such a talent, was there. He has been asking me for a while to go to Loftus on a Thursday for their open mic, but it`s a heck of a distance, and I`ve always passed, purely as it would mean getting home really late.
Ian promised that if I got there he could guarantee an early slot. So I went. The first person i saw when i got there was Vin Garbutt! A real legend. Blimey, this was not going to be any ordinary open mic spot.
I got up and played "GNS" and "Sick" and had some cracking banter with the (busy and very talented) crowd. And that was that, until Mr Garbutt came over and told he`d really enjoyed me songs. How cool is that. I was smiling all the way home.
All I`m saying is, I could have gotten to this age without ever having had the joy and pleasure that is playing S Club 7 or the Stranglers on the banjo to a bunch of bemused seasoned drinkers. I strongly urge anyone with any talent to get up on an open mic night, it could lead to you driving home with the biggest smile on your face.
Till the next one, learn something new.
Mark.
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