Brain Teeser 1. Andrew Johnson

Afternoon Strumpets.

A couple of months ago I was thinking about the talented people who inhabit this part of the third marble from the Tolley, which in turn got me thinking about the various conversations I'd had with them over a couple of beers waiting to either go on and play or be entertained by others.  Some of the conversations had been of great depth and meaning, some were as facile as sifting sand.  I wanted a way to get these discussions onto a forum.  Hence the Brain Teeser!

My first Teeser is the rather wonderful Andrew Johnson, a gentleman who I and The Charmers (as well as the Broken Broadcast) have had the privilege to play for, with, and alongside.  He promotes local music, has been involved in Musical Theatre, and with his bands "The Southmartins" and "Cherry Head Cherry Heart" has provided many a dance and singalong for the good folks of Teesside and beyond.  Links are below.

Cherry Head Cherry Heart

The Southmartins

So, good people, let's start by asking

Laurel and Hardy or Morecambe and Wise?

Laurel and Hardy. The wit and slapstick still has me in creases and without them Morecambe and Wise, as much as I love them, wouldn't have been the same.

Except your own front room where is your favourite place to be in Teesside.

Favourite place is in a venue either watching a performance or performing myself. Failing that It'll be eating fish and chips in Saltburn

Out of all the Star Wars movies, which one and why?

I know it's cool to say Empire but it's probably A New Hope. It's the only one that's really self-contained and it was such a huge thing when I was a kid. You get older and more cynical so the darker pull of Empire and even Revenge of The Sith is there but the first one has a perfect balance of light and shade.

What do you think of the Teesside accent?

I love the Teesside accent. It's a good "piss taker" accent and I think that's what I've done most of my life!

What’s your dream gig?

I'm slowly ticking off my bucket list of gigs to see. Beck was amazing last week. In terms of a dream gig to perform at I guess it would be one playing my own stuff, either solo or as part of a band and having people sing it back to me. You know you've really created something and connected then but I like performing and making that connection even if it's not my own material. It's just as valid if people enjoy it.

Little or Large?

Hmmm. It depends on what you’re talking about. If it’s the comedy duo then I reckon they really don’t work in isolation and only just together. If you’re talking about food then I tend to aim for little but end up going large if it’s there in front of me. In terms of what I’m attracted to in the opposite sex then a little on the large side is no bad thing in my book.

What was your first public performance? 

The first that I very vaguely remember was when I must have been about 4 and I played a Santa Claus in a school Christmas production. I remember it possibly because a photo of me existed somewhere and my nan always commented on my scuffed shoes! I also remember mimicking a friend of mine and making people laugh about the same age.

Are you nicer than Bob Fisher and if so, which I doubt, Prove it!

No I’m not nicer than Bob Fischer and I can prove it.

On a scale of minus 10 to plus 10 what is your belly button?

Probably about -8 (as in 80% IN). It’s pretty cavernous depending on my fluctuating weight of course. I’m trying to get a (love)handle on that.

When was the last time you were excited about a piece of music?

I get excited about new music (or music new to me) all the time. I reckon the last time I really flipped over something was when I finally ‘discovered” Harry Nilsson. I’d bought an “Essential” collection on a whim in HMV one day and it sat in my car, unplayed, for months. I finally decided to give it a go on the way back from a gig and I was like “Why do I not know this music?!”. It’s like finding another Beatles. I tend to get a bit obsessive about acts and so I went bought a box set of every album, plus books, DVD etc etc.

 What was your first cinema experience?

The first I remember was Star Wars. Genuinely. I was born in 1971 so I was prime fodder for it. I’d never heard of it until a friend of mine brought a book to school that he’d bought at the cinema when he went to see it and it just looked so exotic and unlike anything we’d seen before. And it was. Changed my life. Helped you look beyond your own boundaries as a kid. It was like our internet.

If there is such a thing as bliss, what is it?

Bliss for me can be many things but the prime conditions are that I’m immersed in doing something I love. That can be alone or with others. I’m not sure where this is going but my mind is getting a bit carried away…

How old were you when you first swore and what was the swear word?

I remember “bum” and “botter” being early words that were used by our group of friends. I probably got told off for saying “willy” instead of tail or something. I don’t really remember. I do remember hearing the word “fuck” for the first time from one of my sister’s older friends and I laughed out loud, it was such an abrupt, unusual word.

Worst gig experience?

Anything dull, tuneless or wrapped up in its own musicality. I did see a local act at a Stockton Weekender in the last couple of years of it that I found achingly boring and wondered why on earth they were there. Clearly good players but the quality of songs was turgid. Can’t name them though

What would you tell your 16 year old self if you met them in a pub back then?

 “Just fucking do it!”

Would you tell a friend they had a bogey showing whilst talking to them?

Yes. For my own benefit. It’s hideously hypnotic to have to look at, as is food.

What would you rather lose?  Sight or hearing? 

Argh! I’ve had damaged hearing for years now really from dancing, deejaying and rock’n’roll so I can kind of handle that but if it went totally I’d be gutted. I’ve always had pretty much 20/20 vision and I’m a decent artist, particularly portraits. It’s just starting to go a little bit so that’s affected me as I expected it to always be there so even though I’m more involved with music I accept that hearing is going to suffer but the eyes! Not the eyes!

Where are you playing coming up?

All over. Hartlepool Town Hall with The Southmartins then on to our tour of o2 Academy venues in Glasgow, Leeds, Sheffield, Liverpool, Birmingham and Islington. With Cherry Head, Cherry Heart we’re doing a very, very special local album launch on 14th October (full launch next year). It’s a gig at an amazing secret venue, never before used and the audience won’t know where it is until they’re taken there (tickets from http://www.wegottickets.com/event/365311 Very exciting and the album is sounding amazing too.

Who would you like me to ask to be Brain Teesed next?

Rob Nichols.

And that's it.

I hope you have enjoyed reading the Teeser and until the next one,

learn something new,

Mark.