A load of old B*llocks, and "No more Heroes"

Jim in Philadelphia wrote to me asking what the word "bollocks" meant as he had read English people writing this on Youtube clips. I replied:

"It can mean many things. usually if something is b*llocks, it means that it is either untrue, or rubbish. as in "That`s a load of B*llocks, and you know it" or "I watched Middlesbrough (my hometown team) playing football last night, and they were b*llocks", or of course, "Never mind the B*llocks, here`s the Sex Pistols"

B*llocks also mean testicles, "I got hit in the B*llocks by a Cricket ball"

And I`m laughing me head off writing this!

However if something is described as being "the dog`s b*llocks" it means that is really good, sometimes abbreviated to just "the dog`s".

It makes no sense, but that`s English for you! Ironically, you could describe this as a "load of old Bollocks" ".

He replied "Thanks Mark for that explanation. So, if you posted a banjo video and I tagged it as "It sounded like a dogs b*llocks", You would consider it a compliment?"

You`ve got to love it!

Talking of a load of bollocks, here`s my version of "No More Heroes" by the Stranglers.



Learn something new,

Mark.

Petal Dove.

Evening Strumpets,

I have had a productive couple of days. I`d snapped a banjo string (easy, easy on the old double entendres), and needed to restring the Windsor Whirle. I`ve been restringing guitars for many years, but Man Alive, I was nervous about doing the Windsor. After a few "Schoolboy errors", I did a pretty good job. To keep it tuned, I needed to be playing it regularly for the first 24 hours, so I took it to work with me, and every available opportunity went back to the car and had a bit of a play.

This was fine, until it got dark. Picture the scene, you`re walking towards your car, and you see a lad in another car, his right arm going ten to the dozen! Makes the name "Great North strum" take on a whole new meaning, dontcha think? Even so, whilst playing I came up with this tune, which Grace filmed and set up, this evening. It`s called "Petal Dove" because that`s what Mam used to call me. and Grace and Harry. Her little "Petal Doves of the Chiffoniums". No, I have no idea either. She was brilliant like that!

Hope you enjoy!



Till the next one, learn something new,

Mark.

One week in!

Evening Strumpets,

So, one week in and a couple of walks in the bitter cold evenings of Middlesbrough, and I think I can manage this. Did A 10k walk this afternoon, and it wasn`t too bad. No banjo on me back yet, but you have to start somewhere.

Whilst out, I popped into a shop and an old man stood in front of me in the queue farted a pitch perfect rendition of the opening Bass riff which opens "No more Heroes" by the Stranglers. He didn`t blush or nothing. Everyone just looked at each other and thought the same thing. "Aw, bless"!

I am in the process of setting up a paypal account, so many thanks to Michael and Simon for putting me onto that, should make things a lot easier.

I have a couple of very good friends, Stephen and Zoey, who have recently introduced a young lad called Tom into the world. I have the good fortune to be a godparent to their twin girls, Chloe and Laura, and thought I would write a little thing for Tom, here it is. Hope you like.



Till the next one, learn something new,

Mark.

The Great North Strum 2! Grueling Banjos!

Afternoon Strumpets,

FANFARE!!!!!!!!

I`ve come up with the idea for the Great north Strum 2. Last year as you are all aware i completed the Great north Run whilst simultaneously playing banjo throughout. The task I`ve set myself this year is this offer: 2 BANJO HALF MARATHONS FOR THE PRICE OF 1!!! That`s right, I`m not only (hopefully) going to be completing The Great North Run (again), but also the Redcar Half Marathon on June
13th. That`s right, I`ll be walking around Dormanstown, in broad daylight playing this drum on a stick! May God have mercy on my soul.

Don`t worry, I won`t be looking for two lots of donations (all monies collected going to Butterwick Hospice), just the one, which hopefully I can collect having completed the Thirtieth anniversary Great North Run in September,

I was genuinely touched by the amount of support and generosity of donations last year, so hopefully we can repeat that again this year. I`ve just done my first proper walk of the year (5K) and i was blowing out of the old proverbial by the time I`d finished, but hey, it`s a start!

So here to launch this nonsense all over again, is a version of the most requested song whilst completing the GNR last year. "Hoo Mistah, play battlin` banjo`s on yewer Geeetor"!



God have mercy on my soul,

Mark.

Jollity progression and Frosty.

Morning Strumpets,

Yesterday we all finally made it into the back Garden, and decided to make a snowman (Or `Noman, as Harry insists it be called). I say we, I rolled the balls, Hal constantly asked if a) "Can we go back inside?" and b) "Can i put the carrot on his nose?", and Louise and Gracie played snowball fights.




I also began messing around with "Jollity" posted earlier, and made it a bit more waltzier (3/4 time). Not sure which way to go with it, but I thought you might be interested in hearing the progression.



Learn something new,

Mark.

The day after tomorrow!

Afternoon Strumpets,

Below is a vid and a couple of pics showing the weather we`ve been having in Good Old Boro Town! It`s just starting to come down again, as I`m typing this! Definitely time for a Snowman!



Keep smiling,

Mark.

Let it snow!

Down on Jollity Farm.

Evening strumpets.

Whilst driving back to the office this evening, I spotted some of the most beautiful clouds. It`s a shockingly cold time of the year, and I`ve had enough of this bloody snow, but blimey this was lovely. Made me come home in a really good mood, and from that, and watching the kids enjoying Peppa Pig, I wrote this.

Hope a you like a!




And the clouds which helped it to come out! Ooer!



Learn something new.

Mark.

THANKS!!!!!!!

Evening strumpets,

Thanks to everybody who has visited the blogspot over the past (amazingly) five months. 2054 visits and 4079 page views, for what was basically a fat lad trying to give something back for the good people who looked after his Mam at her time of need, whilst playing a drum on a stick, makes me realise that the world is actually a good place! Massive MASSIVE THANKS!

Mark.

Hello Strumpets,

Apologies for length of absence, but I`ve been chock a block with poorly kids, and poorly patients, so here`s a couple of new recordings meself and those crazy Dalton Brothers undertook last week. Hope you enjoy them.

John Henry

Me: Guitar
Carl: Bass
Andy: Banjo and vocals



The Ballad Of Jesse James

Me: Banjo lead,vocals
Carl: Bass
Andy: Banjo rhythm



Cripple Creek version 1.

Andy: Banjo lead (Frailing alongside vocal)
me: Banjo Lead (bluegrass rolls)
Carl: Bass







Cowboy waltz copyright 2009.

(Music:C.Dalton. Lyrics:M.Davies)

Carl: Guitar
Me: Banjo, vocals
Andy: Ukulele





I`ll eat hay with a Donkey if that`s all worked.

Hope you have a great New Year.

"Grow old with me
the best is yet to be"

Mark.