Playing with the Dalton Brothers.

Evening Strumpets,

Them Dalton Boys came around me house the other night, armed with banjo, Bass guitar, accoustic six string, Ukulele and Mandolin. This is what happened.

Cripple Creek


Foggy Mountain Breakdown


Cowboy Waltz


Irish Washerwoman


John Henry

Hundredth Post.

Afternoon strumpets.

We`ve not had much banjo for a while, so have a butchers at this.



Hope you like it.

Mark.

Lest we forget. God save us all!

Morning Strumpets.

"I am well aware that the orthodox opinion is that six million Jews were gassed and cremated and turned into lampshades. Orthodox opinion also once held that the world is flat." Nick Griffin.

The British National Party was given a platform by the BBC on Thursday evenings "Question Time". It`s leader Nick Griffin, of the above quote, was given the opportunity in front of millions to publicise his Party`s opinions.

Many argued that this mans party should have the right to the arena as they have been democratically voted into power in many Councils throughout the United Kingdom. They also have two MEP`s.

I`m going to let you know my opinion.

He should never have been allowed within a hundred miles of that studio.

His Party believes that if you do not have Centuries of pure white anglo-saxon blood within your ancestry, you should be kept separate to the people who have. Or removed from Britain. His Party`s manifesto, which i have just read, also believes that the statement "humans are the same under the skin" is a myth and that men and women should be treated as equals is untrue. His Party believes that the Blacks and Asians, Homosexuals and Lesbians, have a negative impact on Society. Does any of this sound familiar?

At this time of year when we place a Poppy proudly on our chest, we pay respects at Cenotaphs, commemorating the millions who gave their lives in conflict. These bear the legend "Lest we Forget". So lest we forget, can anyone else remember the last time the Far Right jumped on the back of a nation battered by a world wide recession, and was given public platforms to spout it`s odious lies and propaganda.

The television show rightly showed Nick Griffins shortcomings in front of a multicultural audience. To me he came across as an awful ass. But I can guarantee you this. There were millions of Britons watching that night who didn`t. There were millions watching who will have thought he was talking sense. Millions who need an easy target to blame our Countries faults on. A target that look different to us. Millions who will have thought the audience full of left wing loonies who never gave him a chance.

This is how it starts. Them and Us. And it`s wrong. A poll published in the Telegraph today finds that since the edition of "Question Time" 1 in 5 of all the people polled would consider voting for the British National Party at some point in the future.

Nick Griffin admits that the BBC gave his Party a massive early Christmas present. Shame on them.

"First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak out for me."

Pastor Martin Niemoller, regarding the rise of Nazism in the Thirties.

Creepy as hell

Take a long look at this picture, something is amiss.

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/10/14/eye-contact/

Answers to riddles.

The answers to the previously posted riddles are, in the order posted, Nothing, and holes.

Anyone got anymore riddles?

Mark.

can anyone argue with this?

pics from 5K walk.

On Saturday I completed a 5k walk with the banjo on me back. Whilst out I noticed that in Middlesbrough, you`re never more than five minutes away from extremes. Crumbling shops, with anti vandal corrugated screens are replaced by Manor Houses within half a mile. Edwardian Architecture replaced by boozy main road Public Houses. Modern secondary schools with natural beauty. Man I love this Town!

Whitby, and the 199 steps!

Evening Strumpets,

Apologies for lack of posts recently, but my computer upped and died in front of my eyes, just after posting the Nephrons songs. Seem`s everyones a critic these days!

Yesterday I thought why not combine a bit of training with a bit of "Family Time", and we decided to go to Whitby. For those not in the know, Whitby is a Coastal Town in North Yorkshire, which is mired in Seafaring History. It`s also (as far as I`m aware) the main mining area for Jet, and as such attracts an awful lot of Goth`s and Emo`s.

One of Grace`s home made "Eye Spys" was to see a vampire walking amongst the living wearing nothing but black. Worth 75 points, it took about five minutes of being there before she got those points in the bag(Or rather unnervingly pounds, as she took to calling them!)

What a fantastic place to be at this time of the year. We visited the top of the Lighthouse, and man alive it was windy, but what a view. Or at least I`m guessing that, as within two seconds of reaching the top and looking out, the old fear kicked in, and Daddy watched from the chair at the top.

Haddock and Chips by the harbour, laughing with the kids about the Gulls "mine, mine, mine, mine" (Visit Mr Chips, not the Magpie, top tip) was followed by a mooch through the streets until we finally reached the beginning of the 199 steps!

These are the steps which lead to the Abbey, where Dracula`s boat was docked. 199 doesn`t seem too big a number when you say it quickly. It doesn`t seem too big a number when you`re walking through the streets telling the kids about the Abbey, and how on Halloween the ghosts have a party in the graveyard at the top.

199 IS a BIG number. It is a step for every year since 1810. It is a step for every day since the 2nd of April. It is a step for every minute in nearly three and a half hours. And here`s the fun part, you walk up there, have a walk around, look in the Church, visit the abbey, and then it`s time to walk back down them.

Which is where Harry decides he wants a "Harry Carry". because he`s tired, and unsure of the higgledy piggledy steps. The same higgledy piggledy steps he ran up at a canter, with his Dad puffing away behind him. He had a "Harry Carry" all the way down the 199 steps. Every one of them. EVERY ONE OF THEM.

Loved every minute of it.

Keep smiling and learn something new,

Mark.

Jamboree (copyright 2009) and The Recycle Thieves (2009)

Evening strumpets,

Me and my fellow Nephrons met up last night, and recorded the above songs, using a digital recorder. The Recycle Thieves, is quite a loud one, and required the recorder to be placed in the hood of Carlos`s fleece, otherwise it may have exploded.

Hope you enjoy them.



Cheers,

Mark.

Riddle me this!

Benjamin from Utah, enjoyed the previous riddle (and got the darned answer right)!

He writes:

"The second question "What is more evil than the Devil?" I knew that the answer was going to be a single thing for all the subjects, but I could get my mind to think anything other than my previous Mother-in-law for question #2...

I have used this riddle for many years, so if you like riddles maybe you've heard this one...

What can you put in a wood box that will make it lighter?

I've only known 1 person to get this right in the first try... anyhow I hope all is well with you my friend, and life is treating you kindly.

Benjamin"

Thanks mate, it took Gracie to give me a big clue for the answer to this one. Any more riddles, you know where to send them.

Mark.

Benny Hill does Cripple Creek.

Inspirations

Evening strumpets,

I have been asked, on occasion, what music has influenced me. Growing up, My Dad, King Kenny, had been a drummer in the Big Bands in the Fifties. A student of Max Abrahms, he had toured the world, performing with the likes of Nat King Cole, Paul Anka, and more. Closer to home he had worked with Tommy Cooper, Eric Sykes (Who`s office, shared with Spike Milligan at the time, had been a couple of doors down from Dad`s Agents), Peter Glaze, and for a couple of years as Tessie O Shea`s drummer in her trio. He performed on the soundtrack of Moby Dick, and The Thirty Nine Steps, and as such got to meet Gregory Peck and John Huston.

When the theatre he had been performing in burnt down and ruined his drums, he decided he`d had enough, and moved back to Middlesbrough, where he has lived ever since. As a bit of trivia, the guy who took over from my Dad in the band, eventually was the person used for Animal in the Muppets, so my Dad could have been Animal.

So he listened to Francis Albert (as he insisted he be called), whom you may know better as Frank Sinatra, and Joe Loss, along with Glen Miller and Count basie.

Mam loved Des O Connor and Glen Campbell. I still cannot listen to Witchita Linesman without thinking of her in the front room of the tiny house we lived in. Special music indeed.

My first inkling that there may be a band out there called The Beatles was via an LP my Sister had called "All this and World War II" which featured artist`s covering Beatles classics. Thus for the longest time I thought Leo Sayer sang I Am The Walrus, and that Bryan Ferry sang She`s leaving home! The Sister I`ve just mentioned, loved Northern Soul, and Motown, so there was that going around too.

Big Brother was a Skinhead, and loved Ska, so it was not unusual for me to hear Selector, The Specials, Liquidators, and later The Angelic Upstarts on a regular basis. Other Sister was a Punk, so I was introduced to Crass, The Pistols, Siouxsie, and The Buzzcocks.

Me, growing up, I loved Michael Jackson,Adam Ant, And Madness. But the first time I felt that the person, writing the song I was listening to, knew what it was like to be me, was when I first heard "The Queen is Dead" by the Smiths. After this the first time I heard music which made me very excited was when I heard "Doolittle" by the Pixies.

Which I guess is a long way to explain how I come to be writing stuff like this.



Learn something new.

Mark.

Comments welcome!

Hello Strumpets,

I`ve been tinkering about with the old dashboard of this blog, and it should now be a lot easier to leave comments. So please feel free to do so. If anyone has any problems, just let me know on markdavies23@hotmail.co.uk

Keep smiling,

Mark.

a riddle

Here`s a riddle which always causes much consternation. It was posed to a hundred Infant school children, and 85% got it right. it was posed to a hundred University Graduates and 17% got it correct.

What is more powerful than God but more evil than the Devil?
The rich want it but the poor have it, and if you eat it, you die.

Think like a child.

I`ve only ever known one person get this right, straight away.

Answers to markdavies23@hotmail.co.uk.

So now you can learn something new.

Some randomness, and a touch of genius.

Evening strumpets,

the sponsorship money is coming in nicely, but if there`s anyone who has pledged, but not sent yet, could they please do so. In the meantime, here`s a few things that have always puzzled me.

If toothless is without teeth, and pitiless is with out pity, why is ruthless without Ruth? the only Ruth I know is a lovely person.

Why do you never see baby pigeons, or dead birds. Sure you may see the odd one, but not as many as there are in the sky. One day i`m going to turn around a corner in a foreign land, and there`ll be dead birds for as far as the eye can see, and I`ll think "Ah, so that`s where they go"!

Why is the letter C pronounced two different ways in the word circle (actually that`s a new one, Grace asked me the other day).

How long will it be before people realise that Robbie Williams and his daft cod American singing voice (which never fooled the Americans, I imagine it was similar to us watching Dick Van Dyke singing Chim chimernee), is in actual fact Norman Wisdom.

Why can you pinch your elbow as hard as you can, and it doesn`t hurt?

Why isn`t Bruce Forsyth a Knight of the Realm?

Why does every zip that`s ever been on any item of clothing I own have YKK written on it? (see now you`re looking which could make for awkwardness).

Whilst you`re pondering these, have a look at this act of genius, pointed out to me By Tito on the Stephen Fry Blog.

Blog Distributor

Evening strumpets,

I`ve been sent an email about a company called Blog Distributor, which apparently has seen my blog and pays people to write blogs. As with most things which seem too good to be true, it more than likely is. Anyone have any experience of this firm?

Octoberfest.

Evening strumpets,

I love October. It`s the witching month. It`s the month when you begin to feel a crispness to the air. It`s the month, when it`s becoming a necessity to wear a coat when going to the pub. It`s the month when the tree`s let you know that Christmas is around the corner. It`s the month of Brambles and Conkers, gloves and scarves. Of Spectacles steaming up as you walk into a room. It`s the time when you can begin to smell Gunpowder in the air. When the Mornings are dark, but it`s still light enough to drive home at Teatime. Leaves filling drain covers.

But above all else, it`s the month when I met Louise.

Funnily enough we met on My Mother and Fathers Wedding Anniversary. I was making a living driving a forklift Truck in Nottingham, and I had come home (which I will always call Middlesbrough) for the weekend. I, for once at the time, had remained quite sober throughout the night, the remnants from a conversation I had had with my Brother about the state my drinking had gotten into, still residing within my mind.

I went to a Nightclub in Middlesbrough called "Blaises", which has long since closed down. Saturday nights in there were split down the middle in 1995. One room had an Eighties night, the other room (the bigger room, which often had condensation dripping from the ceiling) had what was affectionately known locally as "Freak" night.

It was in there that Michael Platts told me I should introduce myself to Louise. "You`re just her type" he told me. And a funny thing happened. he was right. I met her and she asked me what i did for a living. Usually, a little embarrassed to admit that i was a manual labourer(I was Twenty Five, cut me a bit of slack!), I would invent elaborate stories.

"Me, oh I`m the youngest Professor to be teaching Classical Literature at Newcastle University"

"Me, Oh I`m a session musician,just finished playing with Blur"

"Me, Oh I`m a novelist using a pseudonym. you may have heard of me, Dan Brown"

When Louise asked I answered

"Me, Oh I drive a Fork lift Truck"

I never felt the need to lie. Funny that.

She was stunning, and I could not believe that a) she was talking to me, and b) she was flirting, and seemed to like me. I`m not fishing for compliments, but man alive, she was out of my league.....except she wasn`t. She never made me feel that way, never has. I know she feels about me the way I feel about her. And Amen to that.

She is the strongest person I know, and the prettiest. She makes me laugh, but she also at times makes me want to stick a fork in her cheek. But then we laugh about how daft the arguments were. She`s my sweetheart, and I`m always going to be here, her big man.

The above picture is a favourite of mine. It`s in Mam and dad`s house, and has my closest friends in it. Louise and I had known each other for two months at that point.

Till the next one, learn something new,

Mark.

Kirby College, as is!

Here`s some footage for the Boro expats, of what has happened to Kirby College.

Pics from the walk, 04/10/09

And so it starts again.

Afternoon Strumpets, I`m just off for a cheeky little 10k walk, to get back into the Great North Strum, part 2, The London Marathon. I`ve got to give it a go, do you not think? I`ve just restrung me Strat, and here`s a couple of original pieces that i hope you like.





Till the next one,

keep smiling and learn something new.

Mark.

Gershwin.

A Celebration

Afternoon Strumpets,

And so it was that this afternoon we said goodbye to our friend Alan. It truly was a celebration, with a beautiful Eulogy delivered by Giles Pinkney, and music ranging from Pachelbel, Cat Stevens, and from Rod Stewart to Glen Miller.

Check out the picture above. Alan had that taken a couple of weeks ago, with the idea of putting it on the front of his Service guide. He`s playing that harp somewhere. He was brought in with flowers and a flag from his beloved RNLI covering his coffin to the sound of Pachelbel`s Canon. The first song was Morning Has Broken, followed by a reading "The Fishermans 23rd Psalm", and then the aforementioned Eulogy.

Next was the heartbreaker. "Sailing" by Rod Stewart. I must be honest, I`ve never thought of this song as anything other than a piece of Seventies tat, but to sing those words in that Church, knowing what he must have been going through when he picked them, Christ!

"I am sailing Stormy waters, to be near you. to be free
I am dying, forever trying, to be near you to be free,
Oh Lord to be near you, to be Free"

He was then carried out to "In the Mood" by Glen Miller, which anyone who knows anything about a musical instrument will tell you, was not written for a Church Organ! But it was carried off magnificently (and Alan would have loved that pun) as he left the church to a standing ovation, and a lot of laughter and tears.

It`s the service he deserved, it`s just a shame it was about thirty years too soon.

Mark.

My big lad Hal, and does anyone reckon I could manage a Marathon?

Evening Strumpets,

Apologies for not having posted anything of real significance for a while, but i`ve had a bit of a break from all things banjo! And now I`m back, and thinking, could I complete the London Marathon whilst playing the banjo?

I`m about to begin training next week, and I think it`s a distinct possibility. I think I`ve actually missed walking around Middlesbrough with this bloody banjo on me back, if I`m being truthful. And if you`d said to me six months ago I would have completed the GNR whilst playing a banjo, I`d have said you`ve as much chance as seeing a one legged cat burying it`s turd on a frozen pond, but we did it! Any comments?

Harry started his first day at big boy nursery yesterday, and within ten minutes was teaching the classroom assistant how to use the computer. He is a real whizz on the bloody thing, and loves accessing all the games on CBeebies.

I`ve also written a cheeky little blues for the banjo which for reasons I have no idea why I have called Lean to the left. Hope you like it.



Till the next one, keep smiling, and learn something new.

Mark.